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If you work for a company, there's an excellent chance that, eventually, a colleague will try to "stab you in the back". But frankly, almost as often, employees manage to stab themselves. It's the American version of hari-kari: intelligent professionals undermined by self-sabotaging career moves.

I've found it helpful to examine telltale traits of the celebrities who embody these terrible career mishaps. But beware: while such personas may work for the rich and famous, adopting them as your own is the single fastest way to lose your job.

1. Woody Allenitis—a.k.a. paranoia.
2. J. D. Salinger Syndrome—or fear of failure.
3. Dave Winfield Disease—otherwise known as choking.
4. Don Imus Virus—i.e., belittling those who can't defend themselves

Woody Allenitis
In Woody Allen's movie, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, someone asks the Woody character, "What do you call someone who is convinced that everyone is out to get him?"

"Perceptive", he replies.

While Woody Allen has turned neurosis into gold, being paranoid at the workplace has wreaked havoc on many a career. Certainly, thinking everyone around you is out to get you makes building alliances difficult. The people whom you mistrusted from the get-go have a way of turning around and giving you mediocre evaluations. Paranoia becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or in the words of a well-known song, "Paranoia will destroy ya".

However, I believe you can learn to rein it in before it does you in. Seek frequent reality checks with bosses and co-workers. Even in companies where official reviews are yearly affairs, it's perfectly acceptable to pop into your boss's office every three months or so and ask for feedback unofficially. Initiating the conversation is simple. Just say something along these lines: "Hey, David, I thought I'd check in with you to find how I'm doing."

Gleaning honest feedback about how others perceive you is your best weapon against the debilitating effects of paranoia. However, take care not to overdo the requests. That may be viewed as constant need for attention, a kind of narcissism, or deeply ingrained insecurity. After all, people with a high sense of self-esteem don't need constant pats on the back to know they are doing well. And at the overwhelmingly competitive workplace, you don't want to give those around you any additional ammunition!

J.D. Salinger Syndrome
Jerome David Salinger published several books. But he became a celebrated novelist on the basis of only one: The Catcher In The Rye. His protagonist, Holden Caulfield, captured the imagination of an entire generation of high school and college students. And as recently as 2004, Catcher was continuing to sell at a clip of 250,000 copies a year. But where is the author of this canon classic today? Hiding out in Cornish, New Hampshire (according to some Internet reports) or in Westport, Connecticut (according to others.)

Today, Salinger lives a hermetic life. He has not consented to an interview since 1980. And if he is writing any books at all, rumor has it they are under a pseudonym. Certainly, this should not be the fate of one so talented! J.D. Salinger may suffer from fear of failure. Possibly, he is too frightened to publish another novel because it may not live up to expectations (no doubt, self-imposed.) In corporate America, fear of failure usually guarantees it.

It can strike at any age. Like some horrible disease in remission, it sometimes lies dormant only to surface once you have finally landed your ideal job, such as Creative Director or CEO. If you came to the company from the outside, you might be particularly susceptible. You plunge in before there's a chance to establish a "feedback loop" with people on staff. If only you had a little more time to foster relationships with them, they could identify problems, brainstorm with you on solutions, set benchmarks, and help put you on a realistic path for steering the company. Meanwhile everyone working for you expects miraculous changes "like, yesterday". So what happens? The debilitating J.D. Salinger Syndrome kicks in. Even worse, subordinates can smell fear, making them mistrustful, rooting secretly (but never silently) for your downfall.

If you want to reach for the brass ring, never pull a J.D. Salinger. Keep your door open. Let every employee know that you are conducting a diagnostic of the company. Find out who the key players are and solicit feedback from them, starting on your first day. Make people feel comfortable coming to you with their problems. From there, you can start to build a base of support and alliances that will be critical when it comes to making necessary changes.

Dave Winfield Disease
Dave Winfield compiled over 3,000 hits in his career and easily slid into the Baseball Hall of Fame. In 1981 he led the Yankees in hits, runs batted in, and slugging percentage during the regular season. But at the very moment when the team needed him the most, Dave Winfield choked. Today he may be best known for his performance (or lack thereof) in the World Series that year. In 22 at-bats over six games, he managed just one lonely single (an .045 batting average) setting the standard for choking by a major star. George Steinbrenner, the Yankees' colorful and outspoken owner, took to calling Dave Winfield, "Mr. May", a parody of Reggie Jackson's famous nickname, "Mr. October" (which Reggie earned through repeated heroics in the playoffs and World Series of the late 1970s).

Dave Winfield played eight more seasons with the Yankees, but the team never reached the playoffs again until after he had moved on.

We've all been there. It's the day of a big meeting or new business pitch for a client. After weeks of late nights spent preparing, and the inevitable lack of sleep that bedevils you the night before, you finally open your mouth to speak. But your words come out groggy and garbled, as if you are enunciating into a swimming pool. Or your speech sounds perfectly normal, but you forget to say half of what you prepared.

Suddenly, your big break has turned into a stumbling block. And it can take months—even years—to regain the stature you had before the presentation. Your career is stalled.

Everyone chokes occasionally. But if it is a recurring pattern for you, there are steps you can take to break the cycle. You could enroll today in Dale Carnegie's course, "How to Win Friends and Influence People". (Manhattan phone number: 212-750-4455.) Or take a class on public speaking at the continuing education department of a college in your area.

Even if you don't have time to take a class, you can ratchet up your performance by rehearsing your speech with one or two colleagues at work (and again in front of your mirror at home.) Write down your speech in advance and practice it. Just be certain not to rely on your notes in the actual meeting. You should be familiar enough with your material to be able to recite it, seemingly "off the cuff".

Don Imus Virus
Radio broadcaster Don Imus never was afraid to stir up controversy. Over the years, he insulted tons of people, calling the New York Knicks a group of "chest-thumping pimps", for example, and New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, a "fat sissy". The key difference about Imus's remark targeted at the Rutgers University Scarlet Knights was that, this time, he wasn’t cutting down a big, powerful celebrity presumably able to defend himself. He was belittling a well-loved team with a racist epithet.

In the immensely popular book, The No Asshole Rule (February 2007), author Robert Sutton claims that, in order to be deemed an "a-hole", one must pass two tests. The second test asks, "Does the alleged a-hole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than those people who are more powerful?" The hue and outcry to Imus's slur from CBS's advertisers, the station itself, and the general media is an indication that many found Imus's remark to be particularly offensive because it was aimed at a party that didn’t deserve to be slighted. And in business—even in the highly charged entertainment business that raises shock jocks to celebrity status—perception often influences reality.

After nearly a week of raging controversy, both CBS and NBC decided to suspend Imus from the air for two weeks. But before the suspension took effect, The New York Times reported that American Express, General Motors, GlaxoSmithKline, Sprint Nextel, Staples, TD Ameritrade, and Ditech.com had all threatened to pull their advertising support. NBC immediately dropped Imus by canceling the simulcast of his radio show on its MSNBC cable news channel. The following day, CBS quickly hammered in the final nail by canceling his radio show.

"You can't make fun of everybody, because some people don't deserve it", a chastened Imus said on air on April 9, 2007. Evidently, he understood the moral of his own tragic fable of career self-sabotage.

If you have a tendency to cut down those laboring somewhere beneath you on the corporate food chain, heed Imus's painful lesson. Recognize that the popularity of books like The No Asshole Rule, which has already become an international best seller, is a sign that the pendulum has started to swing against "a-hole tolerance" at the workplace. The book flat out advises companies not to hire "a-holes"; and there are hundreds of HR managers, CEOs, CFOs, and others in a decision-making capacity today who are, for once, in the mood to listen. Suddenly, "a-holism" is beyond out. Civility rules.

Are you tempted to make fun of a secretary's unfortunate lisp? Tease your friendly mailroom guy about his weight and/or baldness? Expose an intern’s penchant for knocking over coffee cups to public ridicule? Try swallowing your barb and holding your tongue instead. There is a fine line between gentle humor and a thinly veiled insult; between "getting points" for being the office clown and seriously hurting someone's feelings. Realize that you have a choice. You can elect—yes, elect—not to be an "a-hole"!

Study these four dreaded career killers. Work diligently to stymie yours; and you will have a reasonable shot of hanging onto your job—at least until you can figure out your next logical career move. If, on the other hand, you become aware of your career saboteur too late to contain the damage, I trust you will enjoy watching the new Woody Allen movie that's coming out, re-reading The Catcher In The Rye during your copious free time, and tuning into Don Imus when he inevitably resurfaces.

© Vicky Oliver

Editor's note: Published in bhag in 2004, this article was subsequently revised by the author and reposted in July 2007.